Harnessing your animal instincts

Keep it simple, stupid. That’s how the saying goes, but if we follow this advice and really examine our everyday human interactions, you’ll realize that as intellectual as we are, no matter how beautifully complex we are, when it comes down to it, we really are just intelligent animals. .

Our urges, impulses, desires, and needs trump distractions (think careers, technology, MONEY) that are both self-imposed and imposed upon us. One of my philosophies that I can share after a few beers with friends is simply this; In the physical sense, we are located on this planet for one reason only: to have sex. We are programmed to want and need it, and most of what we do can return to that.

Although Sigmund Freud is the most recognizable psychological mind in history, he is heavily criticized by some for his theories. I won’t bore you with a lecture about it, but it basically says that from birth, we develop in psychosexual stages. Through these five stages, we satisfy our sexual urges. To be clear, this doesn’t mean your baby has a stash of “child pornography” (I’m worried the feds will be knocking on my door after I type that sentence), but rather that we’re born with a libido, and that it manifests itself in different ways from person to person. as we mature. Basically you go from having an oral fixation and manipulating attention by being cute (baby), to falling in love with your parents via Oedipus and Electra complexes (little boy) to having real sexual feelings, expressed with genital awareness and masturbation to real relationships. and have sex.

You can look at these theories and choose how literally you want to take things, but the fact is that, at our core, sex and “animal” urges dominate every part of our lives. We intellectualize things a lot and try to be politically correct, which is good in one way, but in another way I think we’re kidding ourselves.

I had a beer with my coworkers recently, and those of us who are married get into the inevitable “how did you meet?” stories. Without fail, each and every story started with strong physical feelings (I guess you can call it lust), which happened out of the blue and opened the door to meeting that person. Many people have lists of what they want in a partner (height, weight, hair color, number of titles, salary, etc.) tucked away in their back pocket, and they go out into the world with that list and begin Looking for Love. It doesn’t happen that way.

Now, just to be clear, I’m not saying you should dig in and wait for love to happen. I’m mainly saying that you’re likely to find love in a more animalistic or primal way than you think, even if there isn’t sex involved right away. The attraction comes first, and then they make the decision to act or not as they get to know each other. Even though my ideal woman is smart, funny, and attractive, her resume listing her titles and her comedy credits won’t even make it to my desk if she’s anything like Precious. Just being real.

Now folks, this goes both ways. Pop culture tries to sell us this PC notion that the ideal guy cries as much as his wife, shares his feelings ad nauseum, and doesn’t prioritize sex. In fact, the 2011 man is taught that having sexual urges makes him one of “those guys” and that all of his friends and acquaintances are “nice girls” who would be repulsed by such thoughts or actions. This breeds a host of men who can provide the comfortable feelings women enjoy, without the carnal urges needed for a healthy union between a woman and a man.

To be honest, the “friend zone” is nothing more than a guy who wants more but is afraid to make a move. SHE doesn’t get you into it, you get into it. While you’re being the All-American dude, she allows you to be the sweet, cuddly shoulder to cry on, while she, ahem, fulfills her needs for the guy she inevitably ends up crying over with you. Because? Because you ignored the animal in you and made fun of yourself by thinking that you are above that kind of thing. Because you have become a man of the new millennium and you are above those primitive things.

OK, enough of the sex talk. In times of natural disasters, when our infrastructure collapses and the distractions we’ve created fade away, you’ll notice our primary needs come to the fore. All that matters is collecting food and water and feeding your family. I’m not talking about the NBA or NFL player “needing” a bigger contract because “I have to feed my family.” No, I mean REALLY feed your family. Wayne said it best on one of his mixtapes a few years back: “No one is safe when it’s for the good of the kids.” I don’t advocate crime, but if the system crashes and you’re in survival mode, well, things tend to get less PC fast.

We buy our food in cute little packages at Wal-Mart, but we’re still buying raw, sometimes bloody meat that needs to be heated up and eaten. We’ve come a long way so that instead of going out and hunting for the catch of the day, we can use our Kroger card and get discounted gas while we buy the catch of the day and eat it in our comfortable condos.

We’ve evolved (as we should), but don’t believe for a second that those traits that got cavemen through hard times still don’t ring true today. When things get real in your workplace, relationship, home, or ANY situation in your daily life, think of the ways the animal in you could beat the smart, well-rounded human and help you get ahead in that situation. You would be surprised.