Inner Child: Does someone need to develop their adult self to heal their inner child?

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Even if someone is not aware of their inner child, it does not mean that it will not have an effect on their life. Your inner child, or your inner children to be more precise since there is more than one child, may be causing you all sorts of problems.

And if you’re aware of the term ‘inner child’ but basically think this is all a bunch of crap, it doesn’t mean that this part of them won’t have an influence on your life. It’s similar to how one could deny that gravity exists, but would still fall if they were to jump off a building.

a closer look
So regardless of whether it relates to how they behave, what their relationships are like, how they feel, and whether or not they can achieve their goals, chances are your inner child is involved. So one can behave in a way that leads to a negative outcome, which can make you wonder what you were thinking.

Perhaps, one reacted negatively to something instead of just responding calmly. Looking at the people they spend time with, one might have a hard time understanding why they are attracted to people who are dysfunctional.

a toxic area

One could be in a relationship with someone they are not compatible with or someone who is abusive. Being with someone who is not compatible will not be good but it will be even worse if they are with someone who treats them badly.

Either way, there may be times when you think about leaving, followed by times when you feel the need to stay where you are. If they have been able to take a step back, they may begin to question who or what is really in control of their life.

Up and down

Sometimes you may find that you feel good and then, for no apparent reason, feel depressed. However, there could be much more to it, as these are times when they feel scared and fearful.

They will look like an adult, but when they get into an emotional state like this, they can feel like a small, helpless child. His adult resources will disappear, needing to be in the company of another person to settle down again.

One step forward, one step back

Over the years, they may have had a number of goals that they have been unable to achieve. If they were to look back at what happened, they might find that they started and then, before long, stopped.
Anxiety and fear may have arisen, and they may have doubted whether or not they deserved to have what they wanted. To get away from how they felt right now, they would have thrown in the towel.

the saboteur

In each of these examples, it is likely that one’s inner child is playing a role in what is happening. However, in order for them to realize when this part of them is affecting their life, they will need to be able to detach from what is happening.

If they merge with this part of themselves, they won’t even realize that they are no longer in touch with their adult selves. When this happens, one will not be able to be with their inner child as their inner child will have taken over.

a key component

Once it has taken over, one will not be able to listen to what this part of them has to say and scream their unmet childish needs. The only way they will be able to do this is if they can hold the space for this part of them and allow it to express whatever it is that it needs to express.

Just as a container must be strong to contain something, one must be strong to contain their inner child. As you develop your inner strength, you will be able to allow this part of you to bring out what it couldn’t bring out all those years ago.

external support

And in the same way that someone would ask another person to spot him when he’s lifting a heavy weight in the gym, another person can provide him with the presence he needs to overcome some of the emotional weight that’s inside of him. By facing your emotional pain in his presence, your adult self will be strengthened.

The type of person who will be able to be there for them in this way will be a therapist or a healer. It will be someone who has overcome much of their own baggage and has developed a strong adult self, allowing them to be there for them.


As time goes on and their adult selves get stronger, it will become easier for them to be there for this part of them and allow this part of them to express itself. They will not need to change or fix anything; they will only need to be there for this part of themselves, as a loving caretaker would be there for their child if they weren’t in a good way.

Doing this work on themselves will likely allow them to have more control over their behavior, have healthy relationships, feel better, and live a more fulfilling life. The main thing will be to keep going and not give up.

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