The art of happy relationships
Sometimes a relationship will start after a very brief period of dating, even a day or so, and this is often considered unwise because people will say, “You’ve barely had a chance to meet.” Such reasoning is entirely based on the physical and emotional level throughout, and does not consider the instantaneous contact that people can have on a soul-to-soul level.
Therefore, the happiness of a relationship is never relative to the time spent dating or courting. Nor does the length of the relationship have much to do with the time spent on previous dates.
However, besides the soul-to-soul connection, there are other elements of a relationship that can make and break the happiness of the relationship. There are five layers to consider and within each layer, there are variables. I’ll try to make this less complex.
1. First Layer – The Physical or Animal Nature.
The first layer is our response to the other person through our five senses of taste, touch, smell, sight, and hearing.
The view is where it influences the most, if we like the appearance of our partner, not only naked, but in their choice of clothing, furniture, art, environment and surroundings. The physical space that a person creates reflects a sense of sight and as such is part of the attraction or not.
Listen to the sound of your voice, not only in good company, but also in bad, under stress, in defense and in attack, and see if this sound is pleasant to your ears. Be sure to listen well to circumstances, such as family gatherings, where falsehood and pretense run wild.
Touch is more than sexual. Watch carefully how you feel when his hand touches yours, how he responds when your hand touches his. Is there a cringe, a feeling of revulsion, or a desire for more? Sometimes a slight feeling of disgust around touching can be a permanent block to a happy relationship. Consider whether your partner’s touch is one of tremulous uncertainty, or if there is a confidence in that uncontrolled touch and overwhelming power.
Cajoling, or having to ask for little things that you like to have done, reveals a weakening of sensibilities and signals possible unhappiness in a relationship. If you have to ask, or are asked repeatedly, to do those things that make the expression of love small and easy: the little gifts, the little efforts of warmth, the little sacrifices, the little gestures are the outlet of love and, if they do not arise naturally without persuasion, unhappiness is assured.
Taste: Although often associated with the mouth, it includes the mind, where a taste for aesthetics and a taste for movies and a taste for music are important. The key here is not the similarity in taste but the harmony between the differences. If those differences are too radical, there is little hope of long-term happiness.
Smell – Smell is the most violent imposition between two people where words, thoughts and environments are made to complement each other. Is the smell of your hair, perspiration, feet, socks, breath, ears, and gas offensive? This is one of the most ignored and yet most influential senses of relationship. Does your partner like fresh air in the bedroom at night or is it stagnant and hot? Does your partner work somewhere where the smells come into the house and you don’t like it (secondary smoke is a good example) – Do the smells your partner chooses in their house harmonize with yours or do they clash? This is a really important physical element of relationship choices, happiness.
2. Layer two the mental level
Overcoming grief: When there is discord in a relationship, go back in your mind to a time when you were generous, kind and considerate, or when they were generous, kind and considerate of you, hold that image, that memory firmly in your head . Don’t think about how you have been mistreated now in exchange for that kindness, just think about what you did, why you did it, and how good it felt to do it. This willingness to relive the memory of the good times is key to relationship happiness because it trumps the short-term emotional drive when things go wrong.
Comparison: as long as you perceive that your current partner is better than the others, the relationship will prosper. Therefore, you must be willing to compare your partner only to those your partner is superior to. Some previous partner, or circumstance that was less pleasant, or someone less fortunate so that you can say: “I count my lucky stars.” If you compare your current relationship with something that was better, even if that best relationship was being single, or even if it’s on your dream list, you will attract bad energy and the relationship will become unhappy. This is a very important mental choice because it is quite normal for people to become envious of another person’s relationship or to become idealistic about a relationship that they have dreamed of having and consequently cannot enjoy and be joyful in their current relationship ( sabotage).
Layer three: the money level
The financial wealth of two people has little or no relationship to the happiness of a relationship. However, money can cause one of the biggest reaction issues that leads to unhappiness in a relationship. It is particularly related to the attitude towards spending. Someone who is low on financial resources may have a healthier attitude toward spending than someone who is rich but always feels poor. On this plane, there can be a lot of discomfort and disharmony in a relationship. Just as overspending is a toxic approach, so is the desire to hoard. Finding that middle ground is more important to relationship happiness than who has wealth and who doesn’t. A low-income lady gave her family $50, which angered her husband, a billionaire, and destroyed their relationship. It is the attitude towards spending that must be welcome and harmonious for happiness.
He and She: In a relationship where one party becomes a full-time or part-time home manager and the other is a full-time money-maker, the stay-at-home manager should be paid a salary independent, an income that you have no obligation to pay. be spent in the manner controlled by the full-time wage earner. This independence is very important both for the level of the mind and for the level of money. Revenues are best split 50/50 after commitments. The person in the household owns 50% of the joint income after living and shared expenses.
In a relationship there has to be money from him, from her and from them. In his and her affairs, her independence should be respected with, however, a harmonious attitude towards spending. In matters of YOUR money, mutual consent to spending makes the chance of error much less than if only one person had to choose.
Layer Four – The Psychic Plane – Emotion and Spirit
The main cause of inspiration on the psychic plane will be love. Many emotions also come into play at this level.
If either individual has come into the relationship with a greater emphasis on this emotional plane, great unhappiness can result if special precautions are not taken. When the physical senses, the mind, and money matters are subservient to love and emotion, there is a struggle to maintain the spirit of the relationship that may have existed in the beginning. Emotions and love are highly fickle and often beyond the known control of individuals. When a love-driven or emotionally driven individual is asked to share or get to know their partner on the other levels of mind, money, or physical senses, they are unaccustomed to the relationship and become unhappy, controlling, or defensive. . No relationship can survive on only one level. The individual who emphasizes love and the emotional level will not be able to sustain their relationship.
When a person enters into a relationship with a person who is very excited or stressed, it is prudent to leave that person a lot of space for artistic expression because no matter how much you love a person, you should not interfere with their expression, such as a need for solitude, isolation and expression. . Spending too much time together in a relationship kills this expression and causes unhappiness in the relationship thereafter. To share more love in an emotionally driven relationship, spend more time apart. Absence makes the heart grow. We don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone.
An individual’s personality unravels on this plane of emotional love…one cannot keep a false face for long and that is why the emotionally focused individual struggles in the relationship. It’s a form of self-obsession, but really, it means more simply a single plane of focus rather than five healthy levels.
Layer Five – Soul Mates –
Much rhetoric is sold to the unhappy single individual with the promise of finding a soul mate, but in reality, this is extremely rare. Most relationships that begin with the soul mate premise end up resigned to the boredom of surviving on lower planes, even just on the plane of money.
First, the union of Two Souls in real life is rare, and second, your preparation for that union will have included a powerful emphasis on those lower planes, already mentioned, the lower four layers. Therefore, there will be fulfillment and harmony at the level of physical, mental, monetary and emotional love. This requires a lot of preparation. Probably many previous relationships that, in one way or another, made each connection layer accessible in its own right. (ie only one connection layer).
The preparation for the soulmate relationship also involves extensive use of the imagination, where the idea and mental image of a perfect prince charming or princess has been kept a perfect secret for many years. The challenge will be finding that perfect portrayed individual in the actual work in its entirety. Because every person you meet will have some resemblance. Sex, appearance, eyes, touch, castle, body, face, mind, everyone you date, at first they will resemble Perfect Princess or Prince Charming, but it’s weird, so done, needle in a haystack. rare, that everything exists in one person, and therefore, a soul mate is found.
In a process of elimination, you can draw a series of relationships, one by one, marking off the parts, one by one, building a real-life picture of partners who, in some way, have proven a part of that perfect soul mate, until, after many instances and dates, you finally draw that person, in the flesh.
Often by then you’re blind, deaf, can’t speak, smell or taste, so it’s easier to find them… (joke)
As you draw the puzzle pieces of your soulmate into the photo, some awareness is required. First of all, you can, without involvement or attachment, recognize the portion of your soulmate in another, thus saving yourself months or years of clinging to a half soulmate. Secondly, you can be sure that the more people who connect and meet on a personal level and recognize that piece of the puzzle that they reflect, the closer you will become to your SOUL mate.
So finding a soul mate can take a long time if your habit is to find a piece and grab it with both hands and waste 3-5-10 years until you are forced or inadvertently to let go and keep looking.
At the very least, you can manage to find your soul mate this way in a few years, as long as you don’t, as most do, marry the right half, and then stick with it after you realize that I have done it again, and you have married half of what you seek. If your true mission is to find your soul mate, don’t hold on, let it go when you realize it and let the rest of the pieces fall into place. Trust this, it’s part of the Soul Mate process.
So there it is: five layers, five blueprints of opportunity for happiness. Get the first four and you’ll do great and you’ll be happy – the last one – well that’s another story…