Relive the romance in your life with energy psychology

In a restaurant, how can you tell if a couple just went out or has been married for a while? Most observers will notice that newly in love couples talk a lot out of the excitement of meeting each other, while older married couples barely talk to each other. This may be because an older couple knows each other well and there is no need to talk, or it may be that they have grown bored with each other, or perhaps something has transpired in the complexities of their day-to-day relationship. You want to avoid arguing.

Whatever the reasons, true romance needs to be reignited. Especially if you are in a long-term committed relationship. Nothing happens automatically. Marriage research shows that couples who carefully attend to their relationship every day are the happiest and most fulfilled. Such a successful connection over time is often described in idealized terms that can fill strangers with envy or awe. Good mathematical relationships go beyond the usual number concepts: one and one are not two, but we can hear ideas like “My partner and I can cut our stress in half and quadruple our happiness.”

Romance is often associated with couples and is symbolized by Valentine hearts. However, the true romance in life begins with the relationship with oneself. You may want to ask yourself the following questions:

· Do I really appreciate my talents and gifts?

· Do I take care of my body and listen to its messages?

· Do I love who I am or who am I becoming?

· Am I willing to learn something new every day?

· Do I look forward to the adventure of learning about myself while connecting with my partner?

As we explore these questions, we recognize how essential personal joy, vitality, and courage are to the health of a loving relationship with another person. No partner, fairy godmother, or knight in shining armor can bestow the gift that brings heart-centered truthfulness and intimacy to a relationship if one’s sense of self-worth is diminished or missing.

Here are some suggestions from the new field of energy psychology to “rekindle” your passion for life and your very being so that you can fully respond to your special partner.

· think of five things about you that you really like. Then she thinks of five more. Let the list grow as you look at the good choices you’ve made for your health and well-being.

· Affirm your strengths while gently massaging the heart area in the middle of the chest with “I deeply and deeply accept myself with all of my gifts, talents, and abilities.” This also includes acknowledging, “I deeply and deeply accept myself with all my faults, problems, and limitations.” In other words, we can acknowledge our problems without losing connection with self-esteem.

· Acknowledge human reality. to make mistakes. One slip of the tongue, one wrong choice: there are hundreds of possibilities every day to stumble or put yourself down. Consider one of the most pressing issues towards the end of each day and be willing to explore what happened. Sometimes it is useful to write it down to examine the details of a situation.

· ask yourself, what can I learn from the mistake? What can I do differently in the future? Be willing to learn from the identified mistake as we all make mistakes but not all of us are willing to learn and grow.

· Affirm the reality within you, “Even though this____ happened, or I wish I hadn’t said/done___, I still deeply and deeply accept myself.” This positive self-affirmation can include a sense of letting go or forgiving oneself and making peace with another person if possible. It does not mean abandoning oneself or ignoring the truth of one’s own error, but it enhances positive self-responsibility.

· Reconnect with your many resources and strengths so you can effectively set boundaries with your actions and choices. As he learns to trust himself, he will be able to tell when something is wrong in his interactions with others and avoid abusive relationships.

As a counselor, single and divorced clients have often asked me how to find the right person for their lives. My answer is to start with the energy psychology self-care resources as outlined here. There is no fairytale romance that can overcome life’s many challenges without a good sense of self-worth. Instead of looking for the right person to share your life with, BE the right person. I know the insurance, the self-care, and yes! -romantic person you have every right to be. Rekindle your passion for life!

As you learn to love and live with your best friend, you will attract the kind of person who can resonate with you and share in life’s great adventure.