Warning signs in relationships that you should not avoid

All relationships are clearly not meant to be. Only a few are truly worth your time and efforts. Sometimes our judgment is clouded and we don’t recognize the warning signs that are clearly evident. Everyone deserves to love and be loved in a relationship. Relationships often start off wonderfully and turn sour during dating. You should spend your time with those people who respect you and will treat you well. However, sometimes we can miss some of the warning signs that can save us a lot of headaches in the end.

1. Physical abuse: Physical abuse should always be a deal breaker. The first signs may be an extremely rough game where you end up bruised. Other early signs are playful pushing, shoving, or hitting too hard. These are signs that he is physically aggressive and doesn’t mind hurting you.

2. Emotional/Verbal Abuse: Insults (no, we’re not talking terms of endearment) like you’re a fat bum, you’re ugly, or anything that doesn’t promote goodwill is unforgivable. If those terms are used with you, leave that person, they do not respect you. Making that person say that he wasn’t serious or that he was joking is not an acceptable excuse.

3. Emotional rollercoaster: Avoid people who love you one day and want to break things off the next. This person is unstable and will only continue this cycle as long as your relationship continues. A person who articulates mixed messages is not emotionally mature enough for a relationship.

4. Lying: You deserve to be in a relationship with a person who tells you the truth. Avoid anyone who tells outright lies. If they lie about little things, they will lie about bigger things. A person who loves you will respect you and will not lie to you.

5. Inaccessible: They will not give out phone numbers, addresses, or employment information. Someone who is not willing to provide you with a way to contact them is trying to hide from someone. They may just give out their cell phone number and nothing else. Maybe they only allow you to call at certain times and not at others. These are all warning signs that they are trying to stay away from you.

6. Overly controlling: Your partner is too preoccupied with the activities you do when you are away from her. They need to know where you are at all times, they may call you several times a day while you are out of control. Be careful if someone needs to know where you are at all times and needs to constantly monitor you. They may need to do this simply because they feel insecure, or they may be dating someone else and want to check that you’re not infringing on that other relationship.

7. You are the one trying to work on the relationship. If you’re the one who has to keep in touch, apologize, and maintain the relationship, you’re working too hard. Relationships are two-way streets; both parties must be involved. If you’re involved with someone who can’t pick up the phone, send an email, or come see you, move on. The other person is not interested enough in you to make the effort.

8. How do they treat others? Does your partner treat other people well? Do they treat waiters in restaurants with respect? Do they speak well to their own family? Do they talk bad about their friends behind their backs? Remember, the person you’re with will eventually treat you like everyone else.

These are general warning signs. You may have your own requirements that a potential partner must meet in order to have a relationship with you. Be sure to move slowly enough to see these warning signs before fully engaging your heart. Above all, you deserve a stable relationship with someone you respect, and that other person respects you. If you must question yourself, ask yourself this, if a friend of yours were telling you about some of these red flags, what would you say? If you would tell your friend that it’s time to move on, move on with someone who gives you the relationship you want.