What excuses do men make when they are caught cheating?

Sometimes I hear from women who want to know what are the typical responses and phrases of a man who has just been caught having an affair. Some of these women are “the other woman” in the matter. They want to know if a man is usually sincere about his supposed “feelings” or if, once discovered, it is all about saving face. Some of these women are wives who want to know if their husband’s response is typical or expected.

From the other woman she might hear: “I’d love to know what the guy I was having a relationship with said to his wife when she caught him. I guess I’ll never get that information because he cut off all contact with me. He never came out and said it, but he let me believe he was lacking marriage. And it’s true that he never promised me anything, but I honestly thought that one day we would be together. Once his wife caught him, he texted me, told me it’s over, and insisted not to contact him again. It hurts and bothers me to be fired like this and I would love to know what he said to his wife. I’m almost tempted to ask him myself. “

Please do not ask or contact her. She is truly the innocent part of this. As someone who dialogues with many people in this situation, I can tell you about some scenarios that may have happened, especially considering the directive that you stayed out of the husband’s life in the future. Simply put, in my experience and observation at least, most of the time, men caught up in adventure say things meant to try to save the marriage. Once they are caught, they realize how much they have risked. And his words in the future try to minimize the risk, which I will discuss a little more below.

Excuses, guarantees and panic: Assuming that the husband has already made the confession or knows that he has been caught, many husbands will initially try to minimize the affair. They will tell the wife that it was very short-lived or even one-time. They will assure you that it was a big mistake that did not mean anything and that it is over.

This does not mean that all husbands are going crazy to apologize. Some husbands are outraged or even angry. Some will try to take a stand in the hope that their wife will back off a bit. But at the end of the day and once the smoke clears, many will speak words intended to try to save their family. Most of them have worked too hard and invested too much in family life to waste it all. Despite your risky behavior, many of them will tell you that they never went into this with the intention of getting a divorce. They never wanted to lose their family.

I know that most of the time, the other woman really expects the husband to come in and insist to the wife that the affair was a “special” relationship that he does not want to end. Frankly, this doesn’t happen often. When it does, the husband usually confesses to the affair rather than being caught. When he gets caught, he was trying to hide it, which means he was trying to keep his marriage at the same time, that very marriage that he doesn’t want to lose now. Most of the time, a trapped husband is a husband who will struggle to figure out what is necessary for his wife to give him a chance to correct it.

What many people don’t realize is that he has often spent a significant amount of time building a life and family with his wife. You’re not always going to turn your back on that, let your kids grow up without a father, and take a big hit financially. I mean, some men might be willing to do this to stay with the other woman. But in my experience, the vast majority do not.

Instead, they are telling their wives that the affair was an anomaly that will never happen again. He promises that he will cut off all contact and put his full attention on his family as he tries to heal everyone involved. That could be the reason why he has told you that he does not want any more contact. You are trying to do the right thing and you are trying to keep the promises you probably made to your wife.

However, these are just words. The real test comes in the weeks and months to come. Because the wives watch very, very closely to make sure their actions match their words. Of course, saying the right words is comforting and enjoyable. But if words are not followed by actions, they are useless and empty. But men who are truly motivated to save their marriages generally try to follow their words with actions.