5 mistakes that will prevent your boyfriend from proposing to you
Have you been with the man you love for a long time, but he still hasn’t asked you the question? Are you thinking of giving him an ultimatum? If so, you better read this now before I dump you for the hot blonde you work with. Even though I work primarily with men and men-related dating issues, I’ve come across this question from women often, usually whenever I’m telling a woman what I do for a living. I was never able to articulate the answer very well, so I decided to interview a couple of dating coaches. All of these women are savvy and accomplished dating coaches who specialize in helping women naturally convince (without actually convincing) their boyfriends to commit and pop the question. This article will focus on the number one mistake that causes couples to break up in marriage, and tips on how to guide your man in the right direction in a short amount of time. It’s not what you’re thinking! Also, pay special attention to mistake number 5!
Mistake 1: Stop being so nice. Women often think that cooking, playing housewife, and being too sweet will result in reciprocal behavior. In reality, men want to marry a woman who is strong, who is able to handle hard times, children and all the downturns that come with life. A recent study showed that the vast majority of men feel confident women are “in short supply.” Don’t be afraid to show him that you have your own life and that you radiate confidence. Take it from a man who has dated countless women, nothing urges me to commit monogamously as a woman who has dignity and pride in herself whether she is in the picture or not. He hangs out with your friends, pursues your career, and spends time with your family. He doesn’t have to be invited to every girl’s night. Let him see that you can fend for yourself in this world, with or WITHOUT him. In fact, nothing lights a fire under his ass like knowing you don’t need him.
Mistake 2: Stop mentioning it. If you mentioned marriage once, then she heard you loud and clear and it’s etched into her frontal cortex. If you keep bringing it up, you will only add unnecessary pressure to the relationship. This also includes making sure his friends and family don’t mention it around him. If they have been dating for a long time, it is common for sisters and mothers to ask, “So when are you getting married?” Make sure your family and friends know not to bring it up around you. He knows that if they mention it, it’s only because YOU mentioned it to them.
Error 3: Is there a recursive argument that appears cyclically? Perhaps financial problems, living arrangements, sexual performance, etc. are common examples. These problems have the potential to become a vicious cycle. It appears maybe every week, maybe every year. Arguing about the same thing multiple times implants in his brain that a life with you will be one continuous argument. Perhaps this is the only reason you haven’t asked the question. Show him that you’re mature enough to let something slide and NEVER bring it up again. So what he flirted with his co-worker at the Christmas party 2 years ago: LEAVE OR LEAVE!
Mistake 4: Let him know that he is not responsible for your happiness, even if he is. Many psychologists have written articles on this very fact. If a man feels responsible for your happiness, he will feel pressured. The pressure equals a breakup if he hasn’t noticed it yet. Men tend to be comfortable when they don’t have to be totally responsible for someone else’s happiness. When a man sees that you are happy with him but you can be just as happy without having anything to do with him, that is when he will not want to leave your side. The next time he cancels last-minute plans to see a fancy movie with you, laugh and say, “Okay.” Then call a girlfriend and go out with her. When she gets home later that night, he initiates sex and “blows” her mind. He will love you for not getting mad over a dumb movie. Also, he will respect that you have grown up enough to be responsible for your own happiness.
Mistake 5: Should you use an ultimatum? Using an ultimatum to get the long-awaited wedding ring is like committing suicide in a relationship. If you feel the need to present your boyfriend with an ultimatum about her relationship, it MUST be authentic! Even if it is authentic, marriage will not necessarily be the result. When it comes to women who want to commit to their boyfriend so badly, ultimatums are commonplace. The waiting game drives despair, and despair can lead to threats! Yeah, ultimatum is just a fancy word for “threat”. Women who issue marriage ultimatums to their boyfriends obviously don’t realize that this type of pressure and “all or nothing” attitude commonly results in the demise of the relationship. Regardless, women want to know if an ultimatum is ever acceptable. According to the dating coaches I interviewed, it’s only applicable when you’re ready to deal with the truth and act on it! If you’re giving your boyfriend a “now or never” lecture, she better be prepared to pack up and walk away if she comes back with a “never” answer. Staying in a relationship after he says “never” will only cause you to lose all credibility and influence in the relationship. Conclusion: Only give an ultimatum if he is ready to hear the truth and is willing to act on it, whatever the answer.
Start implementing these tips right away. You need to do this before you can move on to the second part, which is offensively convincing him (without actually convincing him or directly discussing it with him) into believing in his subconscious mind that you are the one and that he cannot live. without you by his side!