I am trying to seduce my husband during our separation so that we can get back together

It is quite normal for an estranged wife who is still committed to her marriage to seek whatever advantage she can get to give herself a chance to win her husband back. It is not unusual for the wife to resort to sex to gain an advantage. And you really can’t blame her for this.

I know firsthand that when you fear losing your husband or your marriage, you are often willing to take whatever advantage you can get, no matter how small.

I heard from one wife who said, “My husband and I have been apart for about seven weeks. My greatest hope is that one day he decides it’s time to come home. His behavior is all over the place right now. Some days in he’s actually receptive to me and flirts. Other days, he seems like he doesn’t want anything to do with me. We go out together and sometimes things have gotten a little heated between us by the end of the night. I try to make advances on him and him he’ll always push me away and say we shouldn’t have sex when we’re apart. He says this will only confuse things. I feel different. I feel like if we’re having sex then that will bring us together and we’ll have a better chance of getting back together. So I admit that I have been trying to seduce my husband because I feel that once we have sex, he will want to have it again and this will lead to reconciliation. and far. How do I get him to have sex with me?

I’ll answer this question in a moment, but before I do, I have to be honest and say that while I fully understand this wife’s mindset, I don’t think this strategy is the best one. Believe me when I say that I understand that you want to use everything you can to lure him back. I have been there.

Why this strategy may cause more trouble than it’s worth: Having sex as a means of reconciliation is really just a temporary Band-Aid that often causes more problems than it solves. This is why. You’re not doing anything to address the issue that led to the breakup in the first place. Yes, you are creating a sense of intimacy and closeness when you have sex, but if emotional intimacy isn’t behind it, then it’s a façade. In the morning, they’ll look at each other, feel uneasy, and wonder what’s going on now that they haven’t set any new frameworks or made any improvements. Now you have this matter between you in addition to the others that are already piling up.

Why it is much better to reconcile emotionally before resuming your physical relationship: When the thing you fear losing is right in front of you, it’s natural to want to reclaim it. And she probably feels that having sex with her husband will help her, at least in some way, to win him back. But you know she has doubts about it. So you should also know that her heart may not really be in it, even if you do succeed in getting him to have sex with you. Sure, he may be stuck in the moment, but he may have some serious regrets the next day as well, because of the awkwardness or the fact that he might assume you’re going to think that sex means you’re getting back together. , he may start avoiding you altogether. And suddenly you have bigger problems than just having physical contact with him.

The most efficient way to start having sex again: I know this is going to sound cliche. But honestly, the best way to get him to want to have sex with you (and the right way) is to begin to heal the emotional distance between you. Build a new base. Take your problems seriously. Take advantage of the progress you are making gradually so that it really lasts. And only when they’ve made progress and they both know the time is right, should they have sex. Because at that point, both of you will be willing to participate because you know it’s an extension of your healthy relationship. You want your husband to willingly want to have sex with you, not just because he is caught up in the moment, but because having sex is an extension of the love and respect that is part of his now healthy and healed marriage.

I know this is probably not what you want to hear. But I say this because I really want you to have the best chance of healing your marriage forever, and not just for a while. I want them to reconcile because they identified and fixed their problems and not just because they were able to act on physical impulses that have nothing to do with improving their marriage.