Raising Your Young Adult: How To Deal With Stubborn Teenagers

Adolescence is a very difficult period not only for you as a parent but also for your teenager. Most parents will ask how to deal with opinionated teenagers since this age is really where independence and individuality are cultivated. But you don’t need to worry about this stage, many parents have gone through their own children’s adolescence and most of them have really made it.

Here are some tips on how to deal with stubborn teenagers:

One way to deal with stubborn teens is to listen very carefully; Most parents don’t know this, but stubborn teens can actually be the result of stubborn parents. After puberty, most children think that they are adults ready to face the world; Fortunately, parents are wise enough to know that this is not true. However, parents can think very little of their teenagers to the point that they still treat them like children whose ideas are just childish things.

The truth of the matter is that the adolescent is more mature than the children, although not yet mature enough; this means that your teen may have something to say about himself or how she wants to be treated. Listen to what they say first before you say what she thinks. Oftentimes, parents just stubbornly and automatically deflect anything their teens have to say, this in turn causes the teens to act like their stubborn parents and become stubborn teens.

When opinionated teens give their point of view, acknowledge it even if you disagree. It’s important for opinionated teens to know that you’ve heard their opinion on things. But you don’t necessarily have to follow or agree with it, after all, in most cases, your teen may be asking for your advice or if you have other ideas in mind. After acknowledging your teen’s idea, you can say what she thinks it should be.

To deal with stubborn teens, imagine yourself in your teen’s shoes. You too were a teenager years or decades ago and you must know how difficult those times were. But don’t dwell too much on your own experiences because your teen is probably facing different challenges in life. Many parents say things like “I know better because I’ve been there” in hopes of stopping their children from doing something. But that is actually an invitation to make the child even more curious about such circumstances.

Another way to deal with opinionated teens is to avoid using labels when talking to your teen, especially during arguments. Labels may sound meaningless when you drop them, but they can easily enter your teen’s mind whether the label is positive or negative. It’s important to allow your teen to be unlabeled. Otherwise, the stubbornness could stem from your teen’s effort to steer clear of labels.

Try to avoid arguing with your child about matters of opinion. Even if the debates occur to convince one party of his opinion, what it actually does is strengthen the other party’s control over her opinion, since they both create reasons to believe in her position. In this case, it’s best to show why your opinion might be better and let your teen see for himself what makes him think he’s right.

Stubbornness is somewhat unavoidable for teenagers, but it might actually be a necessary trait at this point where they are developing their identities. What matters is that you are there for them at this critical stage with lots of love and understanding. With an open mind and a healthy heart, you’ll know how to deal with stubborn teenagers.