The 3 telltale signs of narcissistic people
I hate to say it, but controlling, narcissistic, self-absorbed people are everywhere. They can be neighbors, classmates, doctors, contractors, teachers, coworkers, bosses, friends, and family members.
It is an essential skill, which you will continue to develop throughout your life, to recognize who is detrimental to your well-being and to distance yourself from their influence.
The main problem is that narcissists are covert abusers, so they rarely yell, hit, or vandalize the house. Instead, they will undermine your self-esteem, cut you off from the rest of the world, and make you dependent on them.
The key is to notice their behaviors from the principle that actions speak louder than words. In every interaction with another person, you should keep the feelings they convey to you close to your heart. This is the weakness of the narcissist; they always violate this principle given their behavior and need to manipulate others. They say one thing and do another.
Only from me, and never from you, unless it has to do with me
It seems simple enough, but it manifests itself in subtle ways. Narcissistic people rarely control others in a way that is perceptible to outside eyes, unless those eyes are trained to recognize it.
But here’s a simple and foolproof way to find out in the long run if a person has your best interests in mind: how much they talk about themselves. With narcissists, it’s all going to be about them, unless something about you helps them achieve their ends.
This also comes across as a closed worldview. The narcissist likes what he likes and will not like (or downright despise) anything else. They’ll keep that hidden for a while, but when it comes down to it, nothing except for them is good or right.
say goodbye to your connections
So we have established that the narcissist’s goal is to control you from the inside and play with your mind and perception. How do they do that? Making sure they are your only influence.
There is no doubt that the people around you have immediate and long-term influences on your behavior and psyche. Controlling people realize that, so it’s in their best interest to establish themselves as the authority figure and cut everything else out.
The result will be a loss of human contact, along with your identity in the world.
Do not think that fair relationships will suffer. Your hobbies and all other activities that the narcissist does not benefit from will disappear. It is a slow process, but it always works and that is why they are successful.
You have priorities for things in your life and narcissists do too. If you love playing the piano, the narcissist will put removing that at the top of the deprivation list.
Something can “accidentally” happen to the piano, but most likely you will be discouraged from playing it. Negative comments like “Play something else…”, “Do you practice enough?”, “It must be out of tune”. It will all come down to “Something’s wrong with you. Don’t do that.”
If you like clothes or fashion, you will never receive a genuine compliment about your tastes. Anything that increases their self-esteem takes away from them, and it is the enemy. indefinitely.
Emotional instability will affect other areas of your life
Loss of motivation, participation, self-confidence, satisfaction and overall happiness will have an adverse effect on your health. Lack of sleep, low productivity, loss of motivation, illness… something will happen.
It seems a bit ridiculous, but years of emotional abuse, especially by malignant narcissists, will eventually take its toll. If you’re raising a family, those traits will be picked up by the children and continue in the family line.
That’s why the most important thing is recognition. Walking away from the abuser can be difficult, but the hardest part is considering that they may be a narcissist and accepting it once you have found the evidence to convince you. So you must take action.
Most likely, you are reading this article because you suspect that you may be involved with a narcissist. My advice to you is never to be complacent; take action and find out immediately if this person is a narcissist or not, and proceed to escape.
Best of luck to you, and thanks for reading!