Work it! 10 things you must do to find love online
You may have heard that online dating is easy. Well, I have news for you. Nothing in this life is easy. Sure, online dating instantly connects you with millions of people, but between that and finding that person who writes for you, there’s a road that isn’t always easy. The truth is, you have to put some effort into your online dating “career” if you want to get anywhere fast. Here are my top online dating tips for getting results online:
1. Spend some time looking at different sites before choosing one
When you choose a dating site, you are starting a relationship. If you’re going to commit to spending time and money on someone (or, in this case, something), you need to take steps to make sure you’re making a smart decision. There are thousands and thousands of dating sites out there, so there is no need to settle. Spending weeks or months searching different sites isn’t really necessary, but it’s good to take a look around and see what’s out there. Read some reviews, ask your friends about their favorite sites, and visit at least five sites before signing up and paying money.
1. Put some effort into your profile
Profile is extremely important, and yet many people still neglect it in their rush to start dating. Unless your profile is attractive and engaging, you will have a hard time getting people to talk to you. Take a look at the competition, see what other people are writing, and then try to do better. Try to go beyond lists of adjectives (“I’m funny, smart, funny”) and give people a real sense of who you are by using anecdotes and longer descriptions of things you like to do. If you want to show people your sense of humor, include a joke that you find funny. It works much better than saying you have a “great sense of humor.”
2. Choose a good photo
A good photo doesn’t have to be taken by a professional photographer after a serious makeover, but it does have to show your face clearly, preferably when you’re smiling and looking happy. It’s always best to get a second opinion from a friend, preferably a woman (especially if you’re a man). Don’t be tempted to use old photos that you’ve been lying about, especially if they no longer look like you. A bad photo could very easily mean that you don’t respond to your messages, so never underestimate the power of an online photo.
3. Make things happen
Online dating is effectively a numbers game. Whether you are a man or a woman, you cannot sit back and let things happen by themselves. You have to make them happen by contacting anyone you find interesting. Don’t be put off by so-called dating etiquette. These things don’t really apply online. Waiting idly isn’t likely to get you anywhere, so start messaging!
4. Give people a chance
Not all translate well to the online realm. It pays to go on a few bad dates instead of missing out on someone worthwhile. It’s good to extend your effort to the “maybe stack,” at least until you learn how to apply your instincts to the online dating universe. Very soon, you will most likely be able to learn how someone’s dating profile relates to that person’s reality and make more informed decisions.
5. Go on a charm offensive
Thinking about the messages you send to people on the site is just as important as having a good profile. Although you are still starting a conversation, online presentations are very different from face-to-face ones. It’s not enough to just say “hi”, you need to give the other person a reason to contact you. Write a short, friendly introduction, talking a bit about yourself and showing interest in the other person. Do this by actually reading your profile and referring to what you have written. You can also comment on mutual interests, ask questions, give compliments, etc.
6. Keep your options open
Even if you’ve found someone you enjoy talking to, there’s no need to stop talking to other people. In fact, keeping your options open is pretty standard. Until you meet someone in person, you’ll never know if you’re compatible, so feel free to set up as many dates as you like and don’t feel like you have to make up your mind for a while yet.
7. Go on lots of dates.
Keeping your options open must extend beyond the Internet. The key here is to enjoy the dating experience, rather than feeling like you have to get immediate results. Dating is meant to be fun. It’s meant to be elusive, until you’re sure you’ve met someone who really does it for you. Don’t cling to every first date like it’s the most important day of your life. Take it easy and see what happens. You will most likely have to go on a lot of dates before you meet someone you like, so accept that and try to see the whole experience as a pleasure, not a chore.
8. Don’t get overexcited
It’s all too easy to turn people off by getting too excited after the first date. Despite all the talk about love at first sight, it’s usually too soon after a date to tell if you’re fit for a long-term relationship. Even if you’re pretty confident, it’s best not to be bossy, but rather let things unfold at a more casual pace. There’s no need to be cold and aloof, but giving the other person some personal space from time to time is probably a good idea. Don’t act like you’re already a married couple until you’re both really sure you have feelings for each other.
10. Don’t give up
If you are serious about finding love, you should keep trying. Don’t be intimidated by some bad dates and some weirdos. Keep trying and you might be surprised with the results. Millions of people have found love online, you could too, the truth is that you will not find anything online if you stop looking.