Only the electrons must all be negative

I think sometimes we focus too much on the positive.

We tell ourselves to only think positive thoughts.

To never let the blues get us down.

To always look for the positive side.

Sure, there is wisdom in this. There is a lot of value in positivity. You can build an amazing life with optimism, joy, and courage.

But there is also much wisdom in facing your demons, confronting your fears and pain, and embracing your shadow.

The darkness is where much of your growth resides. Balance the light and dark, and you will do amazing things.

But that’s for your life in general. When it comes to affirmations, positive psychologists are right:

You want to focus on the good things, not the bad.

Sounds obvious, right?

But many people make the easy mistake here.

Some of you turn to affirmations because life is great and you know it could be even better. You’re not going to fix anything because nothing is broken. Just look for a little adjustment.

But that is not the story for most of us.

When we turn to personal growth, it is because of pain.

Either things are bad right now… or we’re so far from our potential that it hurts.

To live the life you deserve, you know you need to change.

That’s why I learned hypnosis and why most of my clients come to see me.

And that’s why, I’m sure, you resorted to affirmations.

This is great. Taking action is always better than wallowing in the situation, dreaming of what could be.

And smart action beats careless action.

In the midst of all this awkwardness, it’s easy to focus on that. And, for some people, it creeps into their claims. They write things like:

“I want to be stress free.”

“It does not hurt anymore”.

“Sadness will leave me alone.”

And so.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with wanting these things… but the focus is in the wrong place.

One of the key ideas of positive psychology is where you put your attention.

What you focus on is what you get more of.

So when your affirmations present the bad things, the things you don’t want, they probably won’t help you. In fact, he could make things worse.

Instead of thinking about what you don’t want, think about what you do.

If you don’t want anxiety, maybe you want confidence.

If you don’t want pain, you want comfort or happiness instead.

As for sadness, you don’t want it to leave you alone. You want to feel happy instead.

It’s natural to think about the problem that brought you here. Still, change the script. You don’t want ‘not the problem’, so what do you want?